Browse Nobel Prizes
2027 Nobel Peace Prize - Greenland Acquisition Commemorative
Pre-order for the prize commemorating the peaceful acquisition of Greenland. "We made them an offer they couldn't refuse - very peacefully! The most peaceful acquisition since... ever! The Greenlanders love me. LOVE me. Denmark was being very unfair, but we worked it out. Beautiful ice. The best ice. We're going to make Greenland great - it's already in the name!"
2026 Nobel Peace Prize - PRE-ORDER (Allegedly)
The greatest Nobel Prize in history, frankly. Many people are saying it. I was robbed in 2018, 2019, 2020... actually every year. But this one I definitely won. The Swedish are very nice to me. Beautiful country. Not as beautiful as my buildings, but nice.
2025 Nobel Peace Prize - Lightly Used
Awarded for outstanding contributions to peace. Medal still shiny. Comes with original velvet box and certificate of authenticity. Minor existential crisis included at no extra charge.
2025 Nobel Peace Prize - Pending Verification
Reserved for someone doing actual work somewhere. Committee still reviewing whether they exist. Meanwhile, the world continues to offer thoughts, prayers, and occasionally a strongly worded statement.
2025 Norwegian PM Special - "We Investigated Ourselves" Edition
Commemorating years of expressing "deep concern" about conflicts while approving weapons exports. Includes: one framed photo of looking worried at press conferences, a collection of strongly-worded statements that changed nothing, and documentation of how Norway profits from war while lecturing others about peace. Aksjeskandal not included (sold separately).
2024 Nobel Peace Prize - Norwegian Hypocrisy Edition
Freshly awarded while Norway exports $8 billion in weapons annually. Includes: one gold medal, one certificate, and a masterclass in cognitive dissonance. Kongsberg Defence sends their regards.
2024 Economics Prize - "Friends of the Committee" Edition
Special edition for those who understand that economics is really about networking. Comes with: invitations to exclusive conferences, access to private islands (international waters preferred), and a guarantee that no one will ask uncomfortable questions about your funding sources. Committee members have been "very accommodating."
2022 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences
Awarded for research on banks and financial crises. Selling due to... well, you can probably guess. The irony is not lost on me.
2021 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine
For discoveries of receptors for temperature and touch. The medal itself is room temperature and smooth to the touch. Very meta.
2020 Nobel Prize in Physics - Black Hole Edition
Awarded for groundbreaking discoveries about black holes. Ironically, my bank account is now also a black hole. Medal has never crossed the event horizon.
2019 Nobel Prize in Literature
Beautiful gold medal awarded for literary excellence. Perfect for display in your home library or as a very expensive paperweight. Writer's block not included.
2018 Nobel Prize in Chemistry
Revolutionary work in directed evolution of enzymes. This medal has catalyzed many interesting dinner party conversations. Not actually made of enzymes.
2017 Nobel Prize in Physics - Gravitational Waves
For decisive contributions to the LIGO detector and gravitational waves observation. Can detect waves of buyer interest from across the universe.
2012 Nobel Committee Chairman's Personal Rolodex
Not a prize per se, but includes access to an extensive network of powerful contacts from his time leading the Nobel Committee. Buyer will receive: one leather-bound address book (some pages redacted), membership to several exclusive clubs, and a fascinating list of associates that recently became public. No questions asked about why certain names are highlighted.
2009 Nobel Peace Prize - Vintage Edition
Awarded for extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy. Slightly premature, but aged well. Great conversation starter at summits.
1973 Nobel Peace Prize - War Criminal Special
Awarded for the Vietnam peace accords while secretly bombing Cambodia. Le Duc Tho at least had the decency to refuse his. This one comes with extensive documentation of why the Nobel Committee has no credibility. Blood stains are metaphorical.